Pride is a simple five letter one syllable word. And right smack dab in the middle of it is the letter i which also, I think, is a good indication as to what pride is all about. It’s about “I” alone. 

    Sad State of Affairs

“Our pride has a way of keeping us separated from each other.” These wise words were spoken to me by my father-in-law many years ago. He and I were like two peas-in-a-pod; independent, self-assured, and a bit brazen. At best, we tolerated one another until one day our toleration grew into an understanding and a warm hearted love for one another.

The summer I gave birth to Elliott, a full-term but stillborn baby, we met up with Berniece, my mom-in-law and her husband, Les, at a Christian camp where they were seasonal workers. Les did maintenance and Berniece helped out in the kitchen. 

It was a solemn visit for all of us that year. 

I remember sitting poolside while keeping an eye on my two sons as they splashed in the shallow end when Les came and eased himself down beside me on the concrete. We rarely, if ever spent any time alone, so his presence surprised me. He spoke to me, but his words were so soft that I barely heard him above the noise that surrounded us. 

He apologized that they were not able to make it to the funeral and he wanted to give me some money to help cover the cost. As he reached for his wallet, I almost got up and left him sitting by himself. I was appalled and angry by his offer. Why would he think his money would make things better for us? Why was he giving it to me and not to my husband? I did not reach out to take what he offered me, but instead, sat mute and mad at him and myself for the tears that I could not hold back.

He continued to talk and said how much we were alike; a little stubborn, a little vain, and almost too independent. I looked at him and leaned in for a hug. That’s when he said, “Our pride has a way of keeping us separated from each other,” and I nodded my agreement. 

The money of course did come in handy, but more importantly, when I gave way to the truth and honesty of Les’ words, our relationship got a little bit richer. 

Why bother becoming aware of our pride? We may think we are fine on our own, and that we don’t need others, especially those who are too much like us. But that’s only our pride talking. Letting the truth speak, changes everything.