Communicating Peace Amidst the Rift

Quoting from Brad E. Sachs Ph.D. from an article he wrote in Psychology Today, “At this time, demographic data indicate that about 25 percent of the U.S. population is estranged from, or has cut ties with, a close relative at any one time, and 10 percent of the population is estranged from a parent or child in particular.”

Rifts, disagreements, and unresolved offenses can turn into an estrangement. 

Estrangements do not have a time line, and a severed connection can be repaired if and when both parties are willing. 

 There is no formal playbook, so arrangements vary. Some families have no contact at all, some connect by text only, and some only when the estranged person chooses to reach out. 

When estrangement happens, it is painful and awkward for everyone, but finding personal peace amidst the rift is possible.

These words from Romans 12:18 Amplified Bible,“If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone,” have been my compass.

“As far as it depends on me,” does not mean it is my job to convince anyone to change their minds about me so they’ll  like me. It means I will give anyone the same respect I’d give to everyone. 

When someone cuts off communication, they have their reasons, even if we don’t agree with them.

 In some cases, there might be an opportunity to ask for their forgiveness, but this does not always lead to reconciliation. Someone can forgive us for our offense and still choose to distance themselves from us.  

Every rift has two sides. Whether we are the one who has pulled away or the one who has been cut off, as far as it depends on us, we can respond with peace by respecting and accepting each other’s choice without pressuring anyone to change.  

Why Bother?

Why bother finding peace amidst the rift? We can’t control if or when the rift will end. But we can choose to communicate peace right now in our thoughts and in our actions.