Learning from Trusting Again

Just because we’ve experienced a painful, disappointing break in a relationship does not mean we can never trust again.

For me, my father’s suicide was the biggest violation of trust. From his death, I concluded that if a child can’t trust their father, they can’t trust anyone. Yet, I hoped for a reliable, dependable and secure relationship with someone. 

I grew into an independent, strong-minded and distrusting young woman. I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t content, and I wasn’t at peace. A constant undercurrent of emotional turbulence threatened to take me under and snuff me out. I got tired of the fight and nearly ended my life before I was twenty. 

When I was tempted to follow my father’s example, God presented me with a choice between ending my life and finding a new way to live. I chose the latter.

God’s invitation felt like what I’d hoped for, a reliable, dependable, and secure relationship with someone. But I’d have to trust again.

To trust again requires truthfulness with ourselves and others. We can pull the wool over some people’s eyes some of the time, but lying to God is futile. He knows a lie when he sees one.

Trusting again means testing the relationship for reliance. It is okay to ask God whether we really can depend on him, because he knows how we’ve been hurt in the past. 

When we trust again, we’ll find God to be unhurried. Our time is in his hands, not the other way around. 

 We must untangle ourselves from old thought patterns when we trust again. The time we spend trusting will eventually end our doubts about whether we can be sure of God. 

Trusting again includes God’s limitless and patient teaching. Thankfully, he never gets tired of us.

Why Bother?

Why bother learning from trusting again? Trust that has once failed does not have to be the end of trust. Trusting again may feel like a big risk, but from what I’ve learned, it’s worth it.