The Whole Family

Our family shapes us. During those formative years, beginning in infancy and ending when we finally fly the coop, we are influenced by our parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and god parents. They all touch our lives albeit in large or small ways.

Once I gave some unsolicited advice to one of my husband’s nephews. We were visiting his family and his nephew introduced us to the girl he planned to marry.

Out of my mouth came these words, “Just so you know, when you marry, you marry the whole family.”

I later learned he’d changed his mind about that particular girl. 

Whether we want to acknowledge, forget or honor our family members, they travel with us wherever we go. It doesn’t matter if we relocate to a foreign country, if family members are dead and gone, or if we try hard to forget all about them.  They still live on in our memories, forever.  

It’s been said that we don’t choose our family and we don’t. But we can choose how we think about them. 

For instance, I’ve found that when I think about my family I am inclined to think about the parts I know. But, I also have to remember that there are parts of their lives I don’t know. I don’t know their full story because I did not experience the full story of their lives with them.

I will never know the depths of the sadness my father felt. I will never know my mother’s thoughts when she learned of my father’s suicide. But I can remember the love I experienced from my dad and my mother’s resolve. 

There was a time when I kept my distance from my siblings. But I no longer do that any more. I’ve found that it is to my advantage to stay in touch with each of them, not just through our bimonthly family calls, but also one on one connections.

Though I will never know their full and complete stories, I get to know more of their stories as I listen, as I tune in and as I commit to connecting with them. They are the living history of my family. 

Why Bother?

Why bother thinking about the whole family? It’s been said that we don’t choose our family and we don’t. But we can choose how we think about them. Whether we want to acknowledge, forget or honor our family members, they travel with us wherever we go. It doesn’t matter if we relocate to a foreign country, if family members are dead and gone, or if we try hard to forget all about them. They still live on in our memories, forever. 

P.S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who need clarity when it comes to understanding forgiveness. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.