Valuing Feedback

Our choices are our choices. But when someone affirms, acknowledges and agrees with a choice we make, then it gives us the assurance that we are on the right track.

But, what happens when we want affirmation from someone and that affirmation is absent?

Not everyone will agree with all our choices all of the time, but when we have one or two or even three people whom we trust to affirm our choices, we can also trust them to refute us when need be. 

I always have a good idea of what I could do next. But, when my ideas do not align with my track, then those who know me best know that it is best to refute me. 

The track we choose to take in life is one that has guard rails, so to speak. These guard rails can be described as our morals, values and principles. As we make the choices we make, those morals, values and principles are clearly seen by others. 

 It would be wrong for me to steal, kill, or lie to someone. I don’t have to tell this to anyone, because everyone who knows me knows I have a strong sense for right and wrong.

I value good health and have a standard that maintains my good health. Anyone who knows me knows that they could never bum a smoke from me, take me bar hopping or ask if I wanted to share their Twinkies. 

The principles I live by are also known by those who know me, even casual acquaintances. I don’t wear a t-shirt advertising that I am a patient person. I just simply practice patience and others thank me for my patience toward them.  

Those are my guard rails in a nutshell and those who know me best know when an idea I have might take me over the guard rail. These are the folks I trust to refute me when need be.  

More than once, when I’ve been opposed by a trustworthy person, they are actually acknowledging what I already feel in my gut. 

For example, when I believed that I could change our oldest son’s poor choices during his rebellious teenage years with my anger, my husband gently exposed how my anger was actually damaging not just our oldest son, but everyone else too. Anger wasn’t working and deep down I knew it. My husband stated what my gut already knew to be true.

I’m convinced we are not created to be solo in life. We may be single, but being single is not the same as being solo.

Solo means making choices on our own, negating anyone’s feedback or input. This is okay for the little choices we make, but input from others whom we trust, can keep us from crashing and suffering long-term damage. 

Why Bother?

Why bother valuing feedback? Trusting a few folks who know us well enough to affirm or refute keep us from getting off track and jumping over those guard rails. 

P.S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who need clarity when it comes to understanding forgiveness. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.