I’ve had a relationship with God longer than I’ve had a relationship with my husband. I’ve spent forty-five years getting to know God and forty-four years getting to know my husband. 

These two relationships have some similarities. First of all, both my husband and God are very important to me. Another similarity is that I do not know either one of them completely or perfectly. There is always more to know, more that they reveal about themselves to me, and more for me to be surprised by. 

 Being Known

I know for sure that God knows me perfectly because he is the one who created me. I also know that my husband knows me imperfectly because he, like me, is not all knowing. Still, with partial knowledge, my husband knows me pretty well even though sometimes I have been known to keep my latest speeding ticket from him. 

 I do not keep anything from God on purpose. That would be stupid of me since he knows all about me including my speeding tickets. But, I don’t always have a clear view or a complete understanding of myself. Some things are hidden. In other words, I don’t know myself completely or perfectly like God does. 

I am not going to psychoanalyze myself because I’m not smart enough to do that. But, I’ve noticed that when I slow down, sit down and take time to listen to God and what I say to him, I undoubtedly gain a little more personal insight into him and into me. 

Similar to sitting down beside my husband and having a conversation, I’m learning to converse with God in such a manner. When I do, I walk away with more knowledge, understanding, and even sometimes a good surprise about him or about me. 

For example, the other morning I was thinking back to when I forgave my father for ending his life. It was a eureka moment when God revealed to me, those many years ago, that I needed to take that particular and necessary step of faith in forgiving my father. And when I did, the resentment and bitterness that I’d harbored against Dad, dissipated. It was truly a liberating moment. One that I will never forget.

Thinking back on that event with God the other morning, he subtly pointed out to me that underneath forgiving my father, and more importantly, there was the matter of forgiving him. I was taken aback. But he was right. He reminded me that I’d ultimately blamed him for not intervening in my father’s last moments of life, stopping him from bringing his life to an end. 

Recalling that I’d blamed God and that I no longer held any ill repute against him was another eureka moment because it shed light on something I’d never thought about. 

Back then, blaming God for not stopping my dad from ending his life was holding something against God that I never should have held against him in the first place. I’ve never thought of God having any limitations, but there is one limitation that God has; he will never force or manipulate someone’s will because he created us all with a free will. 

Why bother forgiving God? It is funny that we blame God for things we should never blame him for. Thankfully, he doesn’t hold such things against us.