When we know how to love ourselves, we will know how to love others.  

Be Nice

How well do I treat myself? Do I respect myself as well as someone else? It would seem that we would automatically take care and handle ourselves as we would a good friend, but sometimes we are our own worst enemy. 

Though we may know what it takes to keep our friends as our friends, and we may know what it takes to nurture long lasting and authentic relationships with others, do we know how to do that with ourselves? 

 Friendships require time, effort, patience, understanding, and empathy. Applying such virtues to our friends shows a genuine intention to build a long lasting relationship. Applying the same virtues to ourselves will nurture the type of relationship we intend to have with ourselves as well.  

“We are our own worst enemies,” is an expression we often use. But it is a detrimental statement to entertain. Being our own worst enemies does not endorse any kind of a respectful relationship with ourselves. 

Our words are a good indicator of how we regard others, so too the words we use with ourselves is a good indicator of how we view ourselves. 

When we express kind, encouraging, and understanding words with ourselves and others, then we are on the right track for cultivating respectful relationships. But if we communicate in a condescending, belittling, sarcastic or harsh manner, there will be difficulties in cultivating any kind of a relationship with self or others. 

Also, if I lean toward treating others more kindly, than I treat myself, then something is askew within me and needs to be addressed. Why would I be kind to others but not to myself? 

Just like becoming acquainted with a new friend, getting to know and like ourselves is a work in progress. Just as listening, applying patience, and spending time with our new friend is crucial to getting to know them, the same applies to us getting to know us.  

I am a recovering taskmaster who is learning how to set realistic goals for myself as well as how to keep my expectations of others within reason. Whenever I am learning something new, I know that applying much patience works better than heaping on false guilt and shame. 

Why bother loving yourself? Loving ourselves is not an egotistical exercise. Instead knowing how to love ourselves is the first step in knowing how to love other